Business humor

Humor

As another New Year dawns, here I sit with my brand new set of resolutions. I enjoy setting myself all these new goals.

1.	I will walk at least five miles everyday.
	I make that one every year. This year I actually achieved it on the day the car broke down.
2.	I will not keep superfluous rubbish. I will be tidier and more organized.
	I made a good effort there too. If you look around my home you will see perfectly tidy surfaces with no mess. Just don't open any cupboards unless you are wearing protective head gear.
3.	This year I will definitely quit smoking.
	O.K., well I tried. I bought some nicotine patches, popped them on, lost my balance, fell over the cat and sprained my ankle. Well, I had placed one over each eye so that I wouldn't be able to find my cigarettes. I had, in the end, to have a cigarette to calm me down and that put a halt to the exercise for a week or two. Well fifty-two weeks if I'm perfectly honest.

So am I down about this? Am I heck! It's a New Year and a new piece of paper with most of last years promises written down again. Will I stick to it? Well probably, due to the fact that a big blob of jam from my doughnut just fell on the paper. I would say it's very likely. So, for all of you out there who are struggling to keep those resolutions alive, here is a little poem to make you smile while you jog along that road to perfection.

The decorations are back in the attic
The Christmas tree's out in the yard
You've cleaned up the place and it's just a bare space
You've recycled the last Christmas Card.

A New Year has come, it's upon us
The road to perfection's in sight
And somehow this year, it's patently clear
That you're going to get everything right.

No more snacking, you'll cut out the sugar
No more booze put that stuff in the bin
More exercise, work those buttocks and thighs
No more cake, step away from the tin.

If you smoke then you WILL kick the habit
You will walk at least five miles a day
You might go for a run, you've heard that it's fun
Super Fitness! you're well on the way.

This summer you will look fantastic
You've got plans and you cannot go wrong
You're energies brimming for tennis and swimming
You might just invest in a thong.

Right that's it all your plans are in order
You're all set, you can start things today
Enough of the talking lets start with the walking
Well, as far as the fridge anyway.